Not bad
For a first time, that's quite a good make. One thing though; next time don't submit anything at all, instead spend that time on making the improved version you were talking about. If you posted the better version off the bat, then you'd have a hell of a lot of praise for getting right into the deep end. Or ignore me, whatever, just a humble suggestion. Either way, a decent submission, better than most of the crap that seems to be passing through NG's bowels of late.